I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
