i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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