why didn't you poke me back
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
