mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
