Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
farters have to be the big spoon...
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
