i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
