Me too!
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
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