Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
