i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
