You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
