Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Randomize
