...so i touched it.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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