based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
