you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
