Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I still have a little drunk in my system
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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