Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
