He is an equal opportunity slut.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
