Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
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