Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Randomize
