Umm I'm too high to move.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
