I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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