I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
