Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize
