Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
