I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
