I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
