She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
