there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
