can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
When are your genitals available?
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
