it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
