Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
