Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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