How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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