I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
