Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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