Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
