never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
