We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
