Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
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