If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
