Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Randomize
