I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
