Your tits are I can't wait for
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Randomize
