Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Randomize
