Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
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