What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
