I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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