Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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