I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Randomize
