i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Randomize
