I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
