Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
